Grandma Goes to Court

Defense Attorney: What is your age? 

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. 

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? 

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. 

Defense Attorney: Did you know him? 

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. 

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you? 

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. 

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? 

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. 

Defense Attorney: Why not? 

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago. 

Defense Attorney: What happened next? 

Little Old Woman: He began torub my breasts. 

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? 

Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him. 

Defense Attorney: Why not? 

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years. 

Defense! Attorney: What happened next? 

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man,Take me!" 

Defense Attorney: Did he take you? 

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool's!"….And that's when I shot the son of a bitch.