Come again

A candidate at a job interview was asked a tough question to which he mumbled an inaudible answer. The interviewer said "Come again?" The candidate got up, collected his file, went out of the room and came back again.

So you control ur wife?

In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting! 
He told the men to stand in two queues... 
Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives! 
Only 1 man stood in d second Queue... 
God said "So you control ur wife?"
Man: "R u CRAZY ???
My wife told me to stand here

Where do I live ?

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.

The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through 
Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.” 

The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”

The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”

A teaher ask

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie...... always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand......
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No sir, It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Your prayer ?

A little Boy was about to eat a plate full of delicious meal for Dinner when his mom notice his urge to eat the food, she quickly ask him "have you said your prayer before eating that meal", The Boy replied "No I won't because I Don't want to give 10% of my Dinner"