Sorry, wrong book

Before Exams :
Father : Son, go read your books.

Son : Sure, dad !



After Exams :

Father : How's the exam papers ?

Son : Dad, sorry, I guess I studied the wrong book.

Father : Which book did you studied?

Son : Facebook !

He doesn't like raw

Was chatting with my friend. She says that she will not be seeing her date anymore as he doesn't like sashimi.
What a shallow reason for cutting short a potential romance. So I asked her to elaborate.

She replied (with straight face too): "If he doesn't like raw fish, how can I expect good oral sex from him?"

God is busy

In a nursery school canteen, there was a basket of apple with a notice written over it.
'Do not take more then one, God is watching'

On the other counter there was a box of chocolates, a young child went and wrote on it..

'Take as many as you want, GOD is busy watching the apples' :D